Waking Up
by MiQuerencia
Summary: Jacob/Bella, the way it should be, because we all know they're perfect for each other :


**I'm sorry guys, I haven't updated in a reallly lonng time. But I decided after posting it that I didn't really like the chapter and how I wrote it. And then I had a giant **  
**case of writers block. But here, is the new version and I _promise_ I will put up the second chapter. It's already half done-ish.  
**

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Song for this chapter: My Heart Will Wait For You - Joe Brooks

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His room smelt just as it always did like earth, salt and Jacob. It was overwhelmingly incredible, it smelt like home and I loved it. I loved everything about La Push,  
everything about this house, this family. Until now I hadn't realized what I loved most here.

Jacob sighed, and put his hand on my hair, holding me there.

"I love you Jake. I guess I knew it all along." I whispered to him as I pulled back to see his expression.

A small smile playing on his lips, "I love you too Bells, but you've always known that."  
With I swift kiss to his lips I sighed and left the room of the boy I, now, knew I loved.

It was like waking up after an afternoon nap, you feel dazed, and everything around seems so much clearer, so much less complicated. It's exactly how I felt, the second  
a realized that I really did love Jake. That I was _in _love with Jake. My Jacob_. My Jacob_

I got into the cab of my truck in a daze, and pulled out the little silver cell phone from my pocket. The LED screen lit up bright, 5 missed calls. Two from Alice and 3 from Edward.

Oh. Edward.

My breathing started to pick up pace, and before I knew it I was hyperventilating in the cab of my truck, with tears running down my cheeks.

What did this newly known love for Jake mean for Edward and me? It was the question I'd been putting off thinking since we kissed. I loved Edward, I really did, but with Jacob it  
was completely different. Jake was my rock, the one thing I knew I would always have, the thing that kept me stable in the worst of times. He was my sun; he was the reason for my  
smile. Edward... He was the eclipse that passed through my life. An eclipse, beautiful, incredible even, while it's there, but they aren't meant to stay. They never change, constant in the  
way they appear to everyone. Is that truly what I wanted? The sun was constant, dependable. No matter what the sun is always there behind the storm, it's always in the sky.  
An eclipse on the other hand, it wasn't so dependable to always be there.

I started to control myself, and pulled out of the Blacks driveway. And continued thinking about Jacob, and Edward.

Ever since the beginning Edward had seemed so completely perfect, to me and everyone else. It was like we were meant for each other. Him for me, and I for him. It's like we were  
soul mates. I've always thought that your soul mate was the person that teaches you most about yourself. They would be the most important person you'll ever meet. Your soul mate  
tears down your walls, and smacks you awake, they shake you up and tear up your ego; just a little bit. They show you your fears, and your addictions, they break your heart open  
and make you out of control. Your soul mate is someone who would bring you happiness, and hurt you more than anyone else; someone who it would be way to painful to be with forever.  
I guess, if that becomes true then Edward is my soul mate. He broke my heart but leaving me; but by leaving he brought me Jacob, my Jacob, my addiction.

I jumped as my phone rang once again, shocking me out of my train of thought. It was Edward again. Of course it was.

"Hey Edward, I'm so sorry, I forgot my phone in the truck."

"Okay, you had Alice and I worrying, your—"

"Future disappeared. Yeah, I went to go see Jake, I couldn't stand not knowing how he was doing."

Of course, he was keeping tabs on my future. He always had to know where I was.

"Bella? Darling? Alice says your future still isn't there, it's still blank." I could hear the concern in his voice, unlike his normal calm tone, he sounded worried, and unsteady. Of course I knew  
why it was still blank, my knew found love for Jacob would obviously make my new future uncertain.

"Oh..." Crap... What was I supposed to say? Oh, well I was just thinking about leaving you for Jake. So that's probably why it's still gone, considering he's a werewolf and all. Yeah, that would  
be the perfect thing to say. Not.

"Bella, I have to go talk to Carlisle. I'll see you tonight. I love you." His words all came in a rush, but I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard them, something I had never done before when it  
came to Edward. I had always wanted more, and now I found myself wanting less and less.

"Bye, I love you too."

What am I supposed to do? I wouldn't be able to keep this from him.

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Sitting on the back of my truck, I felt the regret from my words in the pit of my stomach. I loved him, and seeing him sitting here beside me, looking so entirely broken, it was crushing me. But  
for once, the look of his topaz eyes didn't send chills down my spine.

"I'm sorry. I know that it's hard for you to understand this, but I'm… in love him. I'm not saying I don't love you, but… it's just different. After everything we've been through, it's hard, to fully  
trust that you're not going to leave me again." I tried so hard to keep my voice steady, calm; but my voice still shook giving away how upset this really was making me. My entire body my shaking  
uncontrollably, I could feel the tear in my eyes; I squeezed my eyes tight wishing them away.

I looked over at him, but he just sat there, frozen, his head in his hands. I'm sure that if he was capable of tears he would've been crying right in this moment.

"I don't think I can handle leaving you Bella. You're my Bella, my one true love, for forever. I thought that's what you wanted… forever, with me." His voice was so shaky when he finally spoke I  
couldn't handle it, and the tear finally over flowed from my eyes.

He didn't look up. He just sat there and waited.

"I thought so to, until today. I guess… I guess I just decided that I didn't truly want that. I want the sun… but I also want the storms. The ups and downs. I want a lifetime... with Jacob." I whispered  
the last part, looking away from him, and with my last statement he stood up, walking to the end of my drive way.

"I'll always love you, my Bella." He whispered over to me.

I looked up in time to see him turn, and run out of sight, out of my life.


End file.
